


Philautia

by ghostqueennotmean



Category: Original Work
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Feelings Realization, Flowers, Gen, Hanahaki Disease, Language of Flowers, M/M, Male Friendship, Self Confidence, Self-Esteem Issues, Tattoos, Texting, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:28:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28094670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostqueennotmean/pseuds/ghostqueennotmean
Summary: As a tattoo artist, Darren meets a lot of people. It's one of the best parts of his job, actually, getting to know all of his clients through the art he places on their skin. From first-timers to those covered in art already, Darren gets to chat with people of all ages, genders, and races.But now he's looking at the booking for his next appointment and all he feels is confusion. This guy, this "Arthur," is a strange one––attractive in a weird way, nervous above all else, and with a request for his very first tattoo thatmusthave some meaning behind it... right?Well, they'll be here for a while. Darren might as well ask.
Relationships: Original Male Character(s) & Original Male Character(s), Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Philautia

**Author's Note:**

> This is a piece that I wrote for [Secretum Hortus,](https://gummizines.itch.io/secretum-hortus) an original Hanahaki zine!! It's free to download, so please do check it out, as all the artists, writers, and merch artists made beautiful pieces for it!

Darren adjusted his mask, throwing used needles away as he reorganized his station. The tattoo artist next to him barely glanced up, hooking her foot around the trash can to bring it closer to herself. Darren shook his head. Well, he didn’t need it anyways––he’d already finished cleaning up and now all that was left was to wait for his next appointment.

Who should’ve been here fifteen minutes ago.

Not that it was a problem, considering his  _ last _ client had run late anyways, but Darren had gotten that one done and paid five minutes ago, which meant that he was now sitting with nothing to do. 

With a sigh, he looked at his tablet and clicked on the next appointment. He was waiting for a man named Arthur, apparently, who was booked for his first ever tattoo. The location and design were also listed, having been pre-approved by the boss and Darren alike. Three calla lilies, blooming up from the centre of his chest and in-line with his neck. A weird choice for a first tattoo, but the good thing about being a tattoo artist was that chatting with customers was generally needed to make sure they didn’t faint, and given that this was Arthur’s first tattoo…

“Hello! Hello, are you Darren?” A voice snapped him back to attention. In front of him stood a man with sandy blonde hair, wearing a crooked pair of green glasses and a nervous smile. He had a fairly noticeable gap between his front teeth, though all the rest were straight, and his nose scrunched up with each change in facial expression. Darren nodded, ushering him over to his station.

“You’re Arthur, I assume.”

“That’s me! Sorry for being late.” The man shoved the small backpack he’d been carrying underneath the chair as he sat down, glancing nervously at his artist. Darren smiled under the mask despite knowing full well Arthur couldn’t see. “Uh, should I?...”

“Take off your shirt? Well, considering you said you wanted a chest tattoo… unless you’ve changed your mind.” Darren responded. Arthur shook his head quickly, slipping his arms out of his jacket and yanking his shirt off fast enough to nearly lose his glasses. Darren caught them before they hit the floor, handing them back to the blonde with a curious look. As the pair went through the prep questions, Darren looked over the blank expanse of Arthur’s skin. This dude was clearly shaking, but he was also determined to go through with this tattoo. Darren had to admire that. He finished up his mental checklist and nodded. “Alright, go ahead and lay back in the chair for me. I’m gonna put the stencil on you, a’ight?”

“Yeah, alright!” Arthur chirped back. Darren almost scoffed.

“You’re awfully chipper. Excited?” Arthur hummed, and Darren could feel the vibrations run through his fingers as the stencil was pressed on. With his guidelines now on the skin, Darren grabbed the tattoo machine and loaded the ink in. Arthur’s eyes widened ever so slightly.

“Uh– can I talk while you work? Or would that mess up the–”

“Talk, but don’t make any big movements.” Darren cut him off. “No big inhales, nothing like that. I don’t want you to pass out while I do this, so tell me if you’re feeling faint, got it?”

“Got it.” Arthur took a deep breath. “Alright, good to start.” He gave Darren a grin, and the artist smiled back as he started up his machine.

Arthur, it seemed, was a rather chatty client. His voice was soft now as he did his best to not make any sudden movements, but it was still expressive. His eyes danced as he talked about the weather, his university, his apartment and landlord, and everything under the sun. Darren had almost wanted to laugh at first, but now the constant stream of words were more of a comfort. Some clients were quiet, and so he’d listen to music while he worked, but Arthur was better than any podcast or album available. With all this chatter, Darren just had to ask.

“So, I’ve been wondering.” Arthur hummed, signalling him to go on. “Why choose this tattoo? Especially for your first. It’s gotta have some heavy meaning behind it, right?” Arthur hesitated, then hummed again. An agreement.

“It’s… a long story, I warn you.” He murmured. Darren shrugged.

“I have time if you do.” Arthur caught his eye and smiled gently. Despite the fact he was looking directly at Darren, his gaze seemed to drift far away. As the needle traced its path, the blonde began.

“So, given that you’re tattooing me with flowers, this won’t come as a surprise, but… I had a nasty case of Hanahaki not too long ago.” Darren nodded at him to continue. “But… it was a weird case, to say the least. It wasn’t that I’d fallen in love with some supermodel or whatever, there wasn’t anything like… like me being scared to confess to someone. Well, I  _ was _ scared to confess to someone, but it was–” Arthur paused, searching for the words. “To put it bluntly, I got Hanahaki for a fantasy.”

“A fantasy?” Darren said. “That’s definitely weird.” Arthur’s smile wavered a bit, nerves already clear in his voice.

“Uh, yeah. It was… it was tough.” He gulped. Darren used his free hand to motion for the man to continue on, deciding that it would be better if he didn’t interject. “Yeah, uh… screw it, to cut to the chase, I fell in love with this… ideal version of myself.” His eyes were darting around behind the frames of his glasses, and Darren did his best not to outwardly show his shock. Arthur took a few more minutes to calm himself before continuing. “So… well, okay, I know that I’m not exactly everyone’s cup of tea, but about a year ago I was just… in the dumps. About everything about me. I mean, high school wasn’t exactly an ideal situation in terms of cliques and things, and so I got some self-esteem issues to follow me through life. I was fat and had terrible teeth and felt like the world could not drag me any further down, and then it  _ did. _ I became a shut-in, more or less. Never really made friends or went outside or tried to talk to people, y’know? Was too scared.” He paused for a moment ,seemingly to collect his thoughts. Darren continued tattooing in silence, dabbing a bit of blood off of the man’s pale skin. 

“Yeah, I get that.” He murmured. Arthur jolted, and Darren snatched the tattoo machine away from his skin. “Whoa, easy. Deep breaths. Are you still okay to continue?”

“I, uh– yeah. Yeah, all good.” Arthur nodded. Darren rested his hand back on his ribs and continued tracing the outlines of his guide.

“So, I guess you started coughing up calla lilies.”

“...yeah.” Arthur’s smile was crooked, Darren noted. “Not the worst thing to cough up, y’know, since there’s no thorns, but it’s not like I was just getting tiny little petals either. Zero to one-hundred real fast. The doctors didn’t know what to do. They could remove the flowers, but I would always have those damn lilies blooming in me because of the stupid human desire to look pretty in the eyes of people who really don't matter in the end.”

“So what happened?” The black line left by his machine curved as the question left Darren’s lips. “Because it sounds like you were absolutely screwed.”

“Oh, I thought I was!” Arthur grinned. “I wholeheartedly thought I was, I was sure it was the end for me. I got deposited straight into therapy because nobody knew what to do with me except make me talk through my feelings with this strange woman as if it would help.” Another pause as the crooked smile grew. “But… it did.”

“It sure seems like it.” Darren replied, finishing his work. “So?”

“So she helped me figure out that if I wanted to be less chubby, I should eat less junk food and go out, and that my teeth weren’t that bad but I should cut back on the ice-cream. And there’s a lot more, but… you’re finished now, aren’t you?”

“I am, but you can’t leave me on a cliffhanger like this!” Darren sighed dramatically. ”What am  _ I _ supposed to do!?” Arthur sat up, fixing him with a curious look. Darren raised a brow. “What?”

...ten minutes and one exchanged phone number later, Darren was in the back of the shop with his head in his hands. His phone buzzed, the notification backed by a picture of blue anemones. Arthur’s writing was just as cheerful as he was.

_ “I’m so screwed,”  _ Darren whispered to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> My [Twitter](https://twitter.com/casper_barnett) is here, where you can see me retweeting art and get updates on the things I'm working on!


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